BAD SELF OR POOR STRATEGY?
IT IS A "NOT YET KNOWING", NOT A FLAW IN ONESELF
"The reasons one has lots of problems is because one has not gone about solving (eliminating) the problems. (Duh!) This statement is, indeed, true 'If you do not complete, you are doomed to repeat.'" (Commit to Mastery Learning. Know, finally, that shortcuts do not work. There is no way around using this principle - but when you do, your effectiveness and self confidence will soar, for then you'll know you can learn anything - and do anything!)
"If you are to solve a problem or correct a mistake, you must first learn enough to solve the problem and do the right thing." (Duh!)
"The reason you are so busy and don't have any time is because you have accumulated problems that you must keep dealing with. If you solve your problems, which takes a little bit of time, you will find yourself having lots of time and plenty of mental space!"
"If you make a mistake, that is only an indication of not having learned what it takes to succeed. The problem is not about you being a defective machine (for you are capable of learning, which is the only basic skill required), it is about using a poor, unworkable strategy. You are never the problem; it is your lack of knowledge that is. The solution lies in repairing that lack of knowledge, not in punishing oneself and criticizing oneself for being permanently defective - for it is a lie to say anything of the sort."
"The only way to move forward is to take a step in the right direction. And we can only take one step at a time. It does no good to frantically go off on side paths. One needs to take all the steps to get down the path. And then one can choose the next path that will lead to the best place (in life)."
"... maybe you could just summarize the key points eg...it's the strategy that needs tweaking, that's all...the person (me) is ok..."
We humans often get confused about what is actually us and what is "out there" or "situational". That is why it is often helpful to decide Who I Really Am, and especially what is not actually you. A fuzzy boundary line is a cause of much mental anguish and confusion - so we need to clear that up, as vagueness and non-definition are the breeding grounds for the (false) thoughts that torment us - all unnecessarily!
The Dalai Lama wasn't just spouting off some "positive thinking" rhetoric when he said "Right now, at this very moment, we have a mind, which is all the basic equipment we need to achieve complete happiness." (Quote in the often unbelieved, but consistent with reality, I Am Whole And Complete - learn that, install it in your mechanical brain that spouts off all the alarms.)
Some people dismiss the basic truth because they believe that their belief is The Truth, but it isn't. The way you can tell if one has a true belief is by the results. An untrue belief will keep getting you poor results. The Truth is what works! If something works, that means it meets reality. If something doesn't work, that means that the "something" is not the truth. Learning this basic truth about how to tell if something is the truth is "Life Lesson 1".