FOLLOW UP ON CALL

My comments are in brackets [ ].

The email

keith,

First, thx so much for your time...very generous of you.

I  really have to work harder on PG [personal growth]....I make schedules allowing for plenty of time but then choose to do other things -- like making sure I pay off a credit card so I dont get a fine. Obviously if I stayed on top of things and have on my schedule time slots for bills, mail (which I do) I might have time for the PG.  I DO keep trying and occasionally see progress but so often get exhausted by the HV/panic.  (which by staying out of anger I can improve)  Anyway ...very frustrating. 

You made some  grt points today (not perhaps new) but I will often hear something in a new way.  Hopefully I 'll remember all of them (made some notes) but if you are willing, maybe you could just summarize the key points  eg...it's the strategy that needs tweaking, that's all...the person (me) is ok....[See answer.]..Also, I still find that I am constanty doubting myself, my worth (yes, I know a made up concept) [You don't "know" it, you know "of it", but need to develop the whole understanding, or you'll keep perpetuating this belief that lies at the core of most people's worries and believed threats.]  I believe I am almost always falling short of my goals/objectives for the day. yr, etc but I also have little sense of what is indeed a realistic amt of time per day, week  to spend on my goals, objectives...[What books have you read on this subject? ].soooooo pefectionistic and so naturally I always fall short.....and at the same time egregiously sloppy/disorganized...always has seemed like an odd combo. [Perfectionistic people want things to be perfect, of course, but that causes them "not to do things", to not proceed, since nothing is good enough.  They are also exhausted.  They procrastinate.  They are emotionally wiped out, so that they do not have the psychological energy that is necessary to apply to get something done!  Plus you psychological energy, what's left of it, is being directed toward solving constant problems, most of which exist only in the mind and are not, indeed, necessary at all: Mental Constructs - Until people understand and see this concept, they actually believe that their throughts are real!)]

The stress today not just from the call but dealing with  's hospital due to the hideous discriminatory policy of a surgeon who refuses to see refugees! (Apparently he was stiffed when a refugee relocated and no longer had state Medicaid.) It all can be solved -- possibly very easily -- but in the meantime the doc at last min canceled J's appt for today.  Jean was pretty devastated as time is of the essence ...and no one from the agency is doing anything about it -- except me.  Anyway, J will meet with the patient advocacy dept next week re situation.  This surgeon should/could be fired for such stupidity -- except that he is one of a handful of such surgeons in the US and Jean needs him! [The stress is from what you are making this mean, about yourself and about life and how crucial this is or is not.]

So my apt looks like a war zone and i must whip it into shape as Janie, the bldg manager's retarded sister, will be helping to take care of the cats while I am gone....[an opportunity to put all but the vital into boxes, to maybe look at later to sort; but do keep one box for things that are urgent or actual musts] (will prob lv mon or tues for about 10 days....will have laptop, cell:  ).......and bldg manager will be sure to take a look around....she hates sloppiness and I wish to maintain an amicable relat with her.

Makes most sense to go to sleep early and get up early with energy......somewhat discouraged re me and how I "do" my life thou accding to Fred being discouraged is also is a neg statement requiring a replacement statement. [Amen!] I have a good one but use it very erratically [Which is virtually no better than not having one!]. [Please share it with me.  Of course it must be repeated until learned, for 45 days.]

Perhaps at some pnt we can go over the latest schedule I drew up -- since I truly dont know if it is workable or majorly unrealistic. [OK, but I would also love to see a few days of what actually occurs, as that is always, always, always the starting point that is taken by the time consultants...link to the main site and enter Implementing The 80/20 Rule.]

And i tend to be pretty amazing with the creative ideas for myself  and others..but for me follow thru is lacking.....largely because I am always putting out 'brushfires' -- just so many seemingly urgent matters that I see as more important  than exercise, PG ...like talking bank out of $35 penalty for late payment on card. [It is interesting that I have no such brushfires, as I have handled everything by setting up a system.  I had previously recommended what to do that would solve the whole problem, but apparently it has not been taken seriously or has been forgotten.  Read answer: Managing One's Logistical "Problems - Stepping Back And Using Systems.)

Anyway, thx again for everything today , and for lettting me share my thts here....very few people I can share the real (and made up) stuff with.